On a fence about calling DFS?
I have asked similar questions here before about my neighbors. I am always undecided as to whether to make a family services abuse and neglect report and am again on the fence about it. I have not done so in the past. My neighbors, the dad social security disabled and the mom part time cares for my own elderly grandmother, have 3 children,11,14 &17, live in a deplorable mobile home down from us. We live in a rural town with "city" water and sewer. At least once a winter their water freezes and they'll go a few days w/o water. 2 months ago thiers froze & busted enough piping underneath that they have yet to repair the lines, they have no water & are getting water from my grandma's in buckets or my own outside faucet. They are doing laundry at my grandma's & what little bathing they do it is also at my grandma's. My grandma is on well water so the water use isn't that big of a deal to her. Them using her washer and dryer is becoming so. I fear if I call DFS they would take the kids away. Not just because of the water, or lack of it, but the home itself is just horrible. The family also has had dealing w/DFS in the past, obviously not good ones. I just don't think kids should have to be in these conditions. If it was only the adults living there, that's different. I wish there was a way to maybe just have DFS come out and maybe just "scare them straight" into fixing the water and cleaning up. Just for a liitle financial info on them. The dad gets social security, so also gets more for each child at home, the mom gets $25 per day for 6 hrs, in cash, for watching my grandma. I am sure they do not report that to social services or social security. They get food stamps and the dad and all the kids are on medicaid. The dad and mom are also not actually married (also a way to beat social services system). I'm not down on them for any of that, just explaining a little more of their financial situation, so they are already getting alot of "help" from all of us, as taxpayers. As for lazy, I would have to say they are lazy, as the yard has literal trash in it and no one picks it up. I do not dislike them, I just don't understand them, and why you want your kids to live that way.
Public Comments
- The question is "why are they in such a state"? Are they incapable of fixing it, cleaning up, or are they too financially poor? Or are they just plain lazy? You need to take this into account before you decide to make life even more difficult for them. Since you seem to care enough to ask this question, is it possible for you to help them out? Or give them a boost in the right direction? If you were in their situation how would you get out of it? The dad being disabled probably can't fix the piping. The mother, trying to care for her husband and three children, AND your grandma is probably stretched pretty thin.
- How about instead of that you help them out a bit financially or otherwise. You're going to have someones kids taken form them because their poor and need financial assistance? weeder
- If you feel the family is good enough to take care of your own, then it may just be a financial matter. Instead of calling DFS maybe you should help them find assistance in fixing their water problem...assist them in finding work...etc. If these kids are not being ABUSED in any way and are fed etc...putting them in foster care can often be more deplorable than not having water...i.e. foster care in many instances are riddled with child abusers.
- You need to do what is in the best interest for the kids. If it was me would make the phone call . That not right them going with out water and going to your grandma's to get it. and since it been two months that is way to long . You don't have to give DFS your name but I would not sit around and do nothing
- Boy, that's a tough call. Does your state allow anonymous reporting? I can't imagine how embarrassing it must be for the kids to go to school. Foster care can sometimes be worse. Do you have a church that could help out? A church honestly saved my life growing up and I mean that literally. If you could find a plumber that would be willing to help out that would be amazing. Maybe even contact your local chapter of Habitat for Humanity. They won't build this family a house, but they may point you to someone who would be willing to help out. Failing all of that, I would say, yes.. Call DFS. This family is in severe crisis.
- Sorry this is not a Social Services problem its a housing problems. They need better accommodation and that is the most pressing matter. You have already explained what they are doing to ensure they have clean clothes and where they now obtain a water supply from. Get them assistance in finding more suitable accommodation/water and the children's needs would be met. when a child is take into care they do it for specific reasons your local housing dept should be looking at this matter and removing the children would make the family less of a priority. They have water admittedly not suitable but there is not neglect, from the parents no abuse, yes you could consider them "at risk" due to the water problem but look at other countries standards and they water situation may appear luxurious in comparison. Its housing that's the problem, in my opinion.
- Doesn't cost much for a electric heat tape for those pipes in the fall (less than $20.). Getting some one under there to place it is another matter. They are probably waiting until Spring/warmer temps to have the repairs done as then it may be cheaper. Keep helping them with water until then. Buy or borrow one of those wooden clothes drying racks. This fall, after things are fixed, make sure/remind them to use a heat tape.
- This sounds like another example of picking on the poor instead of offering them some genuine help. Unfortunately, DFS specializes in taking kids away and putting them somewhere else. The federal funding streams favor placement in foster care rather than real service to struggling families. If DFS takes the kids, the mother's name could be placed on a list so that she would lose her job and not be able to get any more like it. The kids could turn against the parents for not being able to do better, and the parents could go into severe depression from losing their kids. DFS is really supposed to be for DELIBERATE abuse and neglect. I think that the person who mentioned churches as a source of help has a good idea. Some churches so have special funds for helping someone in the community who is in need. It wouldn't hurt to ask around about this.
